Not mine. - Risk, and risk, or risk, then risk… I’m repeating the word “risk” these days. I have to scarifice my loving boredom to get “it”, even if there is no guarantee. In any ways, unbearable heartache will be waiting for me. Remember:…

I always wonder here: are there REALLY so many things to think, taking so long time?(maybe yes.) We all have to think. “THINK A THINKABLE.” (this is someone’s word, but I forgot who… I got this when I was in the first year of uni. From the…

he was seeing the sea. He was also seeing the sun, but what caught his mind was rather the sea and waves. He sang with his good voice, but he was not good at singing at all.

Not some, but many. They are about 3 years elder of me. Now I feel this age gap more than ever. I remember I-san who I worked with at the book store. We know we are different, even if we really have a good relationship. Or, maybe that gap …

Do I really have things to protect, things to be protected? Unfortunately, (or fortunately,) no.

I’m just waiting for my boss to have a meeting (he is having another now). This kinda waiting could be solved, if we did the time managing. Most of the things I hate here could be solved by managing. I can see too many unsolved matters, an…

Laugh away.

(say again!)

Eventually, the guy who’s disappeared last week did not come back. Now it became completely no matter (at least for me).As I heard (but kinda nusumi-giki): He sometimes appears to the messenger. He appears to mixi as well. (mixi? Rather th…

There are always some risks. I have to take them, to keep the things I need. Uhhhhhhhhhhh

My motivation is going toward abroad. Surprising. Wa-wa-!After I came back from London more than two years ago, I decided I would stay in Jap forever, and move to Tokyo. In fact, before I went to London, I haven’t been interested in the ci…

The guy I liked when I was high school was so tall. When I was that age, I did not know how tall I was. Now I almost hate my height. (How lovely and charming the girls walking around the city are!) (So, when I am in abroad, I feel so comfo…

Next is a story of my ex. friend ( I haven’t seen her for over a year). She was interested in fashion, and design things. After finishing high school, she went to TANDAI to study about design and after that, she began to work for a small, …

(The previous entry concerns with this entry.) A few month ago, I met a guy who I would love to meet for a long time. I admire him for his writing, music, and thinking. We knew each other, but it was the first time we met. We talked, and t…

what I am writing here is for me more interesting than what I am writing there. Because I am so honest here and chotto tanjun ppoi . I’d been thinking that English is not enough to represent what I want to say, but I’ve got to know that Ja…

I know how silly it is to write this, but I do. Same. Unchanged. Loop. But changed. How? Boredom. Weak. Too much strongness. Enough. But insufficient. Why? And again, why? I am thinking about almost the same thing for nearly 10 years. Not …

For what? 1. Accordion style. Endlessly long. Photos of all books I have. (nnn--- it’s arikitari) And the other side, letters from book. So many, too many letters. Randomly typed.2. Arm. Skinny, girl’s arm. Moves, and changes the forms. Ac…

I’m spitting out so many words. Almost sicken. Writing all the day, for work, for here, for there… And for work, that is painful. No, it’s wrong. I feel the pain when I see my writings for work. Not when I am writing.Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii…

Feel so uncomfortable with that writings. My writing also seems so stupid one. Painful. So, what you gonna do? Think. And plan.

Though I did not know (as always), it was not the first time he disappeared. Last time, he came back, saying “sorry I had bad headache.” ( I think it is a perfect excuse.) Now everyone knows his disappearing. And everyone knows he will nev…

He works for a film production or something. Last week he got the two-day-holiday for the first time since April. His work is so heavy as well as any other production GYOKAI. He can get only 150,000 yen/month.In the night he becomes so sen…

Morning. Office. Remaining people – two. Why?

in blue.

our unit is becoming an independent company – subsidiary one. So we’ve got a new boss. It was kinda GEKOKUJO. (but this was also absolutely none of my business.) He is smart, and he is the real “business-type” man. He is blogger, his blog …

A guy disappeared. There are about 10 people working here in this floor. And two of them are part-time. The guy, who has disappeared, is one of them. He is the same age as me. Where has he gone? And how many people here knows this little p…

I’m drowning. Even if he/she doesn’t admit, I’m drowning. Almost drowned.

Style of writing. The way he writes, the way she writes, the words he uses, the expressions she uses, how he uses adjectives, how she put the commas, how he starts the writing, and how she ends the writing.All these things are flowing into…

When I was a child, I didn’t know how the headache was. (But I knew how hard the heartache was.) When I was a child, I didn’t know the word “pity”. (But I knew the notion of it.) When I was a child, I didn’t know how long the night was. (B…

Take photos of flowers. It’s not always beautiful, but take. Can’t stop. They have a power. Power to catch one’s eye, or one’s consciousness. Nice word. Obsession. And it hurts a bit, and reminds me of something.

While I was not here, I was writing in another place. I’m still writing there, but it’s becoming a bit hard to keep the balance (mentally). Some of readers here disappeared, especially my “real” (or “ri-a-ru” or “off-line”) friends. aaah, …