Someone’s fault
Not mine.
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Risk, and risk, or risk, then risk…
I’m repeating the word “risk” these days. I have to scarifice my loving boredom to get “it”, even if there is no guarantee. In any ways, unbearable heartache will be waiting for me.
Remember: YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE PROTECTED.
While I was seeing the ridiculous sun,
he was seeing the sea. He was also seeing the sun, but what caught his mind was rather the sea and waves.
He sang with his good voice, but he was not good at singing at all.
I have some friends aged 25-26.
Not some, but many. They are about 3 years elder of me.
Now I feel this age gap more than ever.
I remember I-san who I worked with at the book store. We know we are different, even if we really have a good relationship. Or, maybe that gap makes our relation nice.
We have a common difference which draws a strict line between us.
It’s not only with her, but also with any other friend in that age.
Sometimes I enjoy it, but sometimes not - especially when I think of one parson.
keeping
Do I really have things to protect, things to be protected?
Unfortunately, (or fortunately,) no.
waiting working (written last night at 9)
I’m just waiting for my boss to have a meeting (he is having another now). This kinda waiting could be solved, if we did the time managing. Most of the things I hate here could be solved by managing. I can see too many unsolved matters, and I can also understand why these things remain unsolved. “That is that”. Simple, silly and strong (and helpless) reason. But I do not need such reasons.
When I was junior high school, I wanted to quit the club I belonged (though I didn’t after all). The reason was simple – I didn’t like the atmosphere in there. I did not hate the people, but hated the way they do anything in the club, it was, “how the club was”. I asked my teacher about that, then he said “have you tried to change it?”
Of course not.
Should I? should I need to change it? Or, should it need to be changed?
Same thing often happens in my life. Now I do not ask anyone when I feel IYA about something, and still I do not try to change anything. I just have a distance from it. I know it’s a bit HIKYOU or something. And some people hate my stance.
I thought it was just a resignation. (Abandonment?)
But not.
I just didn’t (and don’t) know how to change.
I just didn’t know how, just needed a help. And still it’s the same.
“You should change it, you are the type who can change.”
I do nothing to change something, and you also do nothing to change me
boredom (telling a lie)
Laugh away.